Another one unto the fold

Firstly, let us welcome another one to the blogging community.

Area Search No Trace.

Welcome to this new world, my friend,

Secondly, a change of Government, well cabinet at least. Let us hope that large scale change does not fall from on high as those new in post see the need to make their mark.

Although I don't see why not, it happens in the police service all the time. Sergeants and Inspectors tend not to have too many retarded ideas, although with some new inspectors who have their eyes on higher things, some daftness does tend to creep in. The real potential, however, flares up when you reach chief inspector and above.

My new management team has decided to change our shift pattern, which to be fair, does probably need changing, as there's no capacity in it for training days, and most of the things we're terrible at doing, is stuff we have to have training days for. Fair enough. However, there's just been a purge of various posts to put people back in the front line, hey ho', everyone got their hopes up, and now that's been put back at least 3 months.

We will be moving from a 4 shift system to a 5 shift, which gives more coverage at certain times in terms of numbers, but this larger number of officers must compete for the same number of cars, leaving a significant number of us on foot. Not that I object to walking from A to B in itself, but as a means of getting from A to B to get things done, it's pretty damn inefficient. Seeing us zoom past in a car may make us seem less aproachable, but we very rarely get flagged down and told about stuff. Everyone has access to a mobile these days, if you ring us, we will come out to you, and a damn sight quicker if we're behind the wheel of a car.

Anyway, I digress. 5 shifts from four means a repeat of the 3 shift to 4 shift problem, whereby the newest unit becomes a dumping ground for the retards and rejects from the others. Those who move from D unit to E unit must feel like the skinny kid at school who is chosen last for football every time, if they have the perception to realise what is going on, that is.

Another suggestion is that minimum staffing in the control room be cut to two. Which is really helpful when the same policymakers have also arranged for the live jobs to be run on one terminal, the deferred list on a second and the neighbourhood team logs on a third. 2 into 3 doesn't appear to go, but what would I know? I only work there.

The workload on the response teams is the same as ever. In the last month or so, we have had serious flooding, a fatal RTC where a motorcyclist was decapitated in full view of the general public, several murders, an arson which is expected to go fatal any day now, a couple of kidnappings, a serial arsonist, a cannabis factory located with over 300 plants found in a live, i.e. not preplanned, firearms incident which nearly ended up in several people being shot as they didn't seem to understand the word 'stop'. Plus the usual robberies, burglaries, assaults, criminal damage, lots of suspicious incidents we don't even bother to go to because we can't, 6 cars into 105 jobs at a time just doesn't go. 2 controllers and 6 cars can apparently run response fine. Which is why we're currently on the aforementioned 105 jobs, yeah right.

Whinge over, I don't whinge because it upsets me personally, I still get to go home on time and our boss knows we're a good team and do our best, but our best just doesn't stretch far enough.

Under the wire...

At long last I am escaping my current job, 3 1/2 years into a '12 month detachment', as it was sold to me. I don't know why they bothered selling a lawful order, but anyway. It was all right having no paperwork and no F/R's for a while, and not coming home covered in blood and vomit from time to time, Mrs P and the little P's were pleased, but all good-comfortable-but-eventually-mind-numbingly-boring-and-career-death things come to an end.

After finding out who was leaving ahead of me, I was one phone call away from arranging a transfer to another force when my false papers and civilian clothes came through from the camp escape committee, and my place in the tunnel was assured. I don't know exactly when I'm off, or exactly where to. I have put in my preference, but frankly I'll take the porters job wheeling filing cabinets around the building if I have to, at least the scenery changes.

I've seen the Great Escape, I must remember not to answer questions in English until I'm out the door.

A change is as good as a rest...?

I had to cover a few shifts for another unit recently, 2 nights covering control for the same team, and then more recently covering a late shift. It was the same team.

When the police reorganise, as we invariably do, and a division goes from 3 units to 4, D unit is invariably formed from the rejects from A, B and C, as no-one likes to get rid of their best people. Only human nature, really.

But not helpful if you are part of D unit, as you will usually become known as Fraggle shift, or some unkind variation thereof. It is cruel coincidence that D is also the first letter of 'Dunce's cap'.

It is very true tho'. After the fifth time in a row I had to say, on air, that a PNC check is always conducted in the order surname/first name/date of birth/sex/colour, and not random variations on this theme, I started to get a little testy.

Also, having to say the same number of times that due to staffing levels, the PNC channel was not running, so all checks through the one channel, only to have them keep asking if channel XX was up and running did not endear the fraggle shift to me.

The fact that with one or two exceptions, they seemed totally unable to make any decisions for themselves wound me up further. I had just calmed down from this when I covered a late shift more recently for them, and was dismayed to find that, when confronted with a small child (6 months) left alone in a house with an angry dog, they would rather wait for mother to get back to the address that boot the door in.

How the inspector copes without shooting them all is beyond me, he must have space under his hat for a small halo is all I can say.

C unit, my regular crew, I love you guys! Welcome back!